Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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