I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
