I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
