Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We had sex on a dog bed..
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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