just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
