Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(562): View more from California

Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar

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(228): View more from Mississippi

I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.

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(205): View more from Alabama

We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.

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(716): View more from New York

Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(720): View more from Colorado

It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants

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(248): View more from Michigan

noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.

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(940): View more from Texas

Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?

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