I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.