Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I accidentally had phone sex last night

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  (651): I accidentally had phone sex last night http://tfl.nu/0rrd
  Replies (6) Good night (1461) Bad night (486)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.

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  (314): My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control. http://tfl.nu/vcg1
  Replies (9) Good night (939) Bad night (2846)
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  (310): View more from California

  I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..

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  (310): I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane.. http://tfl.nu/no57
  Replies (14) Good night (500) Bad night (2250)
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  (949): View more from California

  Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.

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  (949): Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever. http://tfl.nu/rea8
  Replies (358) Good night (24400) Bad night (7509)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.

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  (608): State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame. http://tfl.nu/w7b2
  Replies (46) Good night (4129) Bad night (578)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup

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  (203): we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup http://tfl.nu/4fq2
  Replies (25) Good night (3499) Bad night (1535)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.

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  (205): my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything. http://tfl.nu/6bhr
  Replies (13) Good night (3326) Bad night (1268)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.

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  (617): Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won. http://tfl.nu/nnbm
  Replies (13) Good night (1092) Bad night (1928)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.

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  (214): Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house. http://tfl.nu/po12
  Replies (10) Good night (1981) Bad night (630)
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  (075): View more from

  thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.

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  (075): thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs. http://tfl.nu/pfb6
  Replies (12) Good night (1444) Bad night (696)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.

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  (808): I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it. http://tfl.nu/dne1
  Replies (11) Good night (944) Bad night (445)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that

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  (504): You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that http://tfl.nu/k4ts
  Replies (6) Good night (1225) Bad night (499)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.

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  (513): Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse. http://tfl.nu/2bnv
  Replies (1) Good night (941) Bad night (409)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.

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  (816): Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is. http://tfl.nu/ytcu
  Replies (5) Good night (2599) Bad night (348)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills

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  (802): New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills http://tfl.nu/1x0y
  Replies (4) Good night (842) Bad night (272)

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