I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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