So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
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we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
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She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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