the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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