If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Randomize