GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
