that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Randomize
