I want to make a zoo with you.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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