don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
