If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I love you.
Bad choice
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
