i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
My brain says no but my pants say off.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Randomize
