If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
No...this little piggys going to the bar
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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