You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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