Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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