According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
