we have pet lesbian snakes
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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