I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
her vagine was all disorganized.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
