Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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