I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
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we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
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But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
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