If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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