I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
