Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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