ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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