I forgot how hot balto sounded
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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