Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
