i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You are a genius and a whore.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
