He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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