We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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