So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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