I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
