I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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