I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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