I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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