I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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