Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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