it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
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