she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
