I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
