at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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