yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
