what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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