WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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