I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
you win again, gameday.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
