So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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