Already got asked if we're dating
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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