he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You need a sexual gate keeper
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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