He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
