That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
where are my pants?
in the oven.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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