Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
