so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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