I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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