His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
