a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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