Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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