Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
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