I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
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