At least make sure they are 18
Why
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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